im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
