I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize