do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
