We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
