does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
