I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
