So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i think i just lost a toe
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
