just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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