haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
