what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
