she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
