I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
