: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think im going to throw up on grandma
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
