Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
