I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I want her autograph on my taint
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
