don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
