there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
