He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
