I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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