Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
