we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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