Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
