Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
