I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
