I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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