Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize