If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
