did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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