My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm like, not good at living.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
