I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
