so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
