u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Porn is love you can see.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i black out too much to be "responsible"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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