Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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