You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize