she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
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