So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
