Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
