let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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