Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
