Umm I'm too high to move.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
