no, he came in my armpit
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
