He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
