i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
