I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just cropdusted the office
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
