he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
