So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
