I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
