i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
