Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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