It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
