yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
