Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
