Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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