I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
