I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
