Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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