True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
