we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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