so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
