Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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