hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Actions speak louder than pants.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
