She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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