Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
