I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
