I'm really into asian looking animals
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
