I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
