I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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